An Odd Day, To Say The Least!
by Syhcoe
Summary: Ed and Al are on a mission and must not let their cover be blown. This means NO ALCHEMY! This ends up causing problems for the brothers when Ed simply tries to help out a girl being attacked. CRACK! Mostly at least. No pairings, except in background. R&R!


Hello everybody! Thank you for just getting this far! Well, to explain. This is c_ompletely crack._ Seriously. So, please avoid flaming unnecessarily... this was written by my frien, and I haven't gone over and edited it yet,so the mistakes are hers XD. We worked on this story together, and though it has absolutely no meaning, we're really proud of it. Please leave a comment! The story starts below THIS line.

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><p>An Odd Day-To Say The Least!<p>

"Today was a really _long _day." Mused Alphonse to himself as he sat in his and his brother's hotel room.

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><p><em>Earlier That Day<em>

The countryside passed by slowly as they lazed on their journey. Al didn't really mind walking, though they'd been at it for hours now. The beautiful landscape gave him bittersweet memories of his home. It truly was a beautiful sight; the sunrise splaying colors across the open plains, scarlet fields of wheat and salmon corn. The serenity of it was overwhelming.

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><p>When they finally happened upon a town, Edward-his brother- was instantly off to the nearest place with food. In the meantime, Alphonse went off to find a hotel to stay at while in town. After he reserved a room Al went back to check on his brother, who was still eating when he got back. When Finished Ed and Al paid the bill and went off for the hotel room. When they were almost half way to the hotel room Ed suddenly took off, sprinting for no apparent reason...at least not that Alphonse could see. But Al took off after him like the faithful brother that he is; after all of the two of them he would be the one that would end up blowing their cover...<p>

When Al finally caught up it was to an unnerving sight: Edward was lying unconscious in an alley blood splattered in puddles across the pavement. "Brother Al exclaimed then he began looking frantically for help however, had to come to the conclusion that he and his brother were the only ones around. Alphonse reluctantly reached down and gently picked up Ed and checked to see if he was bleeding. He was cut in the bicep of his good arm, and his lip was busted open and his head was bruised but nothing serious. Most of the blood seemed to be his brothers but he'd have to check Ed's story later.

Al carried his brother to the hotel room enduring many strange looks and uneasy glances from people on the street. This wasn't the first time Ed had gotten him into trouble and it wasn't the first time Alphonse had had to bail him out, but it was the first time it had been this bad. He checked into the hotel room and walked up three flights of stairs to their room, number 107. He opened the door and set his brother on a bed. Al sat down and tried to relax, a task not easy with his cover probably blown and his brother unconscious.

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><p>Alphonse was slumped against wall when his brother started to come to. "Brother!" Al exclaimed as he rushed to Edward's side. Ed tried to sit up but winced and put his hand to his head, apparently it still hurt from whatever he had gotten into. "What happened to you?" Al asked worried the answer would be worse then he envisioned. Ed strained himself and was able to sit up and began to explain what had happened.<p>

"I saw a girl," he started. He put his hand to his head again, the pain apparently getting to him. "Being dragged into an alley way. I ran without thinking...Ughhh..." He winced. "Brother don't strain yourself," Al said-now he was really worried. "She was in trouble Al, I had to think fast, and since I couldn't use alchemy, and..." He paused for a second as if trying to remember what happened... _"At least he was smart enough to remember not to use alchemy."_ Al thought to himself..._somewhat_ relieved.

"There were six guys...it was hard without the use...of Alchemy and my Auto-mail...but I managed to take a few of them out..." he was wheezing between words "I went after the one who was holding the girl after I took out the first two... the girl... got away, I managed to knock out the third guy when, their leader...slammed me against a brick wall, the last thing I remember was the remaining three dragging the others away..."

Al was relieved-their cover wasn't blown... "Well I'm gonna go to the bath house..." Ed exclaimed as he started heading out the door.

"Wait, we're supposed to keep a low profile, Ed!" Al said in desperation...Edward stopped in his tracks. "Pfft, its a freaking bath house Al, its not like I'm going to be doing anything that would get us noticed..." Alphonse thought for a moment his reasoning was sound...after all what could happen in the bath house? After contemplating Al reluctantly let his brother leave.

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><p><em>Now...<em>

Edward walked down three flights of stairs before reaching the main lobby, it was simple yet sophisticated, the manager stood puzzled for a moment before speaking. "Hey, ain't you that kid that was being carried by that big suit of armor guy earlier...?" At first Ed seemed puzzled but after giving it a moment he spoke, "Oh yeah, its kind of a long story and well..." his voice trailed off as his mind started to wander, just where was he going to find a bath house at 9:00 pm?

"Well i guess it'd have to be to see something that strange I thought i was going crazy when i saw it at first, i mean first the guy comes in wearing a suit of armor, then 30 minutes later he's carrying some banged up, bruised kid with him; its not something you see everyday"

"Yeah, Yeah, I get it, its not a normal thing to see in your town now can you please just tell me where the nearest bath house is?" Ed now annoyed with the manager spoke sharply, he was done playing games now and was tiered of listening to the man talk. After being slammed into a brick wall this was the LAST thing he needed. "Sure, there is one right next door." he said gesturing to the right. Edward, though still annoyed with the man thanked him for his hospitality and was on his way.

600 cenz seemed an awfully high price for a bath, but Ed paid the attendant, Entered the room, took off his clothes, placed them in a locker and after washing the dirt and blood off his body he went to sit and relax in the hot springs. The water was warm, and felt nice on his skin. So relaxing, so soothing, it had been a while since he could enjoy a bath house like this, the last time he could plainly remember was in eastern command, yet it was not as calming as this was.

Suddenly Ed heard a voice coming from the outside where the hot springs were, no...not just one voice it was more then one, at least seven or eight. "Mack said he saw him come in here" Ed had heard this voice before, but couldn't place it "Where is that little piece a shit? I want him dead," where had he heard this voice before, it was so familiar yet so vague Ed frantically searched his mind looking for answers, "if he thinks he can mess with our business and Beat our men he's got another thing coming, I'm gonna teach that Mother Fucker a lesson he won't soon forget." Ed was so close to remembering, he knew it, and then...

"Yeah if he thinks what we were doing to that chick was bad, he's in for a real surprise!" And then it was all clear...the men from before! The ones who were abusing the girl...they came back for him! ...but what could he do? He was under orders to stay undercover at all costs!

This was bad! Ed searched frantically for an exit, other than the one the thugs were outside of. "Dammit!" He cursed upon finding no escape. Ed ran to the wall surrounding the hot springs. There was no time to think: he acted purely on instinct. Ed quickly scrambled trying to scale the barrier. "There he is!" One of the men said having just slammed open the door as Ed fell over the wall. He had only moments before they were able to catch up with him. He scanned the area for an easy get away, it was dark and the light that peaked over the fence gave little help in finding a way out.

Ed's eyes darted back and forth until he found exactly what he needed. A fire escape! Wasting not a second on contemplation Edward darted up the ladder just as the other men managed to get across the wall. "He's getting away!" Shouted the leader with rage, Ed without hesitation quickly entered the nearest open hotel window, spun around, locked it then took a sigh of relief. The Room was dark for only a moment before the light shot on, there in the room was a couple staring blankly at him, under the covers, apparently on a special romantic vacation. A moment of awkward silence passed, though to both it seemed to last an hour.

"Sorry for interrupting you two..." Ed said trying to break the awkward silence but inevitably making it worse. Suddenly the woman let out a screech, Ed used this opportunity to dart out the door while the woman's lover just sat there mystified at the sight. "Shit what was the room number again?" Ed began racking his brain trying to remember. Had he even seen the room number? Ed began randomly running through the floors like a mad man trying to remember. Suddenly a door opened and his brother Alphonse walked out holding towels... HE WAS SAVED! "Al, Quick, OPEN YOUR CHEST PLATE!" Ed shouted out of breath running to his brother.

"Ed? What are you doing here and why are you..."

"No time for Questions Al, just Open your chest plate and get in the hotel room!" Edward shouted climbing as he began inside of his brother. "WHERE IS THAT PEICE OF SHIT!" The Leader's voice bellowed from down a flight of stairs, Alphonse Darted into the room before Ed had a chance to put his entire body inside! Al closed the plate, then the door, he breathed a sigh of relief. "What the hell is going on?" Al thought before sternly whispering to his brother "Ed, what did you do?" "Shhhhush, the guys from before... their after Me..." Ed spoke in a half whisper half yelling voice.

The door SLAMMED OPEN! Al jumped in surprise and felt something hard hit against his armor, a feint moaning was heard coming from the inside...Not a good sign. A broad, burly man glared at Alphonse suspiciously as he stood awkwardly in the corner of the room. "Hey, you in the armor; You seen a little blonde midget running around nude like dumb ass lil shit he is?" Immediately following this remark Alphonse spoke an a worried tone, "No sir i haven't seen anything like that why do you ask..." It seemed odd to him that His brother was not reacting to being called short, maybe he had actually learned something and was trying to keep calm... but that was not likely... "Don't worry about it I'll make sure that little fucker gets whats coming to him..."The Man replied slamming the door...Al hoped he didn't give all the other hotel occupants the same question...that was weird enough for him half knowing the situation.

Al waited until he was sure that the men were on a different floor, then..."Ed, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" Alphonse waited for what seemed like hours but in actuality was minutes for a response... there was none. "This is just GREAT!" Al thought letting out groan as he slumped to the floor...Now his brother was passed out inside of his armor... COMPLETELY naked... "GREEEAAAT" Al thought to himself putting his hand to his head in distress, "Tonight was going to be an even LOOOONNNGER NIGHT..."

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><p>Owari.<p>

Wow. you read the whole thing? I'm impressed-seriously! Well, I guess if your awesome enough to read through all of this, you're awesome enough to comment, right? Whether you like this or not, I love all of you and wish you al the best in finding stories you _do_ like, and in your endeavors at creating your own. Ja ne!


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